When Rejection Hurts

uni_ss_6-13-01-768x768“Brat.” His words cut through the dark Christmas night. Hot tears slipped unnoticed down my cheeks.  I now know he was speaking from a place of his pain. I wish I could go back to that moment and look into the eyes of my seven-year-old self.

I would tell her those words don’t define her.  I would tell her it was not her fault. I would tell her to spit the poison out before it had a chance to tangle around her soul.

I would hug her tightly and tell her –  You are loved. You are cherished. You are wanted.  You are valuable.

Rejection hurts.

Nobody likes rejection. Ever.

How do you move from hurt to wholeness? As the years go by, I realize more and more it is a process, not a moment. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be there – but then I look back a decade or two and can celebrate the progress.  I recently read an excellent book on the subject.  In Uninvited, Liza Turkerst’s new book, she shares her story of rejection and her journey to wholeness.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

“My identity must be anchored to the truth of who God is and who He is to me.”

“Live loved”

“I had the truth. But I had not applied the truth. Therefore, my mind did what my feelings wanted.”

“It’s not deciding in my mind, I deserve to be loved. Or manipulating my heart to feel loved. It’s settling in my soul, I was created by God, who formed me because He so much loved the very thought of me. When I was nothing, He saw something and declared it good. Very good. And very loved.”

“Which has really gotten me to thinking about all the many times I assign thoughts to others that they never actually think. I hold them accountable to harsh judgments they never make.  And I own a rejection from them they never gave me.”

“Rejection isn’t just an emotional feeling. It’s a message that alters what you believe about yourself. And the minute you sense that happening is the minute you must stop the runaway thinking with truth.”

“Think about why it hurts so much when other people say or do things that make you feel rejected. Isn’t it in part due to the fact they just voiced some vulnerability you’ve already berated yourself for?”

I am learning to replace the hurt with truth. And to no longer live in bondage to others words but live in the wholeness of who I am in Christ.

Want more? Check out Lisa’s new book Uninvited. She also has lots of free uninvited-3dgoodies at Uninvited book. 

  • Audio Sample of Uninvited
  • Assessment on rejection
  • 5-day challenge
  • Chart for replacing lies with truth
  • Bonus chapter “What is it like to do life with me?”

I love you my friend and pray that you too will strive for the freedom in Christ.  Liza’s book is a great resource, but I would also encourage you to study the Scriptures. It’s the best source truthful thinking.  Get started with a google search like, “God loves me Bible verses.”  Live loved my friend!


This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s Uninvited Book Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here.


BookLook Bloggers has provided you with a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.


  1. The first thing I thought when I read this post was: what a beautiful mind, helpful encouraging. I can’t decide which I like better, the quotes you provide or your own testimony. I’ve internalized pieces of both. I love the idea of process as opposed to a moment and the reminder that it’s possible to assign others a judgment they may or may not have made. If we consider ourselves in process, it allows for ebb and flow as we move closer to God’s perfection. I appreciate this post a ton.

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