Embarrassed?

My children are under the notion that nothing embarrasses me. On some levels, they are probably right.

When I own up to my humanness, I think it makes others more comfortable.  At least I hope so.  For instance, last week was the first week of a Bible Study group I am leading at church.  I had bound my study guide and accidentally put a page in backward -so it went page 2,4,3.  I figured it out before class but still managed to get myself all tangled up during the lesson.  Thankfully, someone stopped me and pointed out I was on the wrong page…twice.  This is even after I wrote on the top of the page, “Turn to page three – do page three first.”  Did it embarrass me?  Nope.  Not a bit.  I just laughed at myself and moved on.

Would it have embarrassed me in the past? You bet ya.  I was the girl in school who would never, ever, no matter what, raise my hand in class.  Ever.  If a teacher called on me, I could feel my face turning red and I wanted to crawl under the chair as I mumbled something about not knowing, even if I knew the answer.

What happened?  God in His grace and mercy reached down and showed my mammoth amounts of  love.  So, with my knees knocking I began to reach out to others instead of being so selfish and worrying about how I looked or sounded to others.

Instead of rushing in and out of church, I would get there early and say hello to a few people.  In the beginning, it was out of sheer obedience and I was terrified.  Slowly, though, my heart of fear melted and was replaced with a huge heart of love for God’s precious creation.

Now, I guess I’ve just lived long enough to know that I’m just like everyone else. We
all want to be liked and we all make mistakes . There is nothing new under the sun.  Ecc. 1:9. I’d rather love on people and look goofy now and again than stay in my safe cocoon and never accomplish anything –and never look goofy.