Three Places of a Hurting Friend’s Pain
- You: You did offend them – even if you didn’t mean to. It’s not what you say, but what they hear. They are responding to their hurt.
- Them: It is them. They are wrapped in their pain and don’t respond appropriately or kindly.
- Both of You – There is a misunderstanding. One of you misunderstood with the other was saying.
I knew I hadn’t hurt my friend on purpose, but I realized it could be something I unintentionally said, a misunderstanding, or her pain. So when I got home I texted and asked her if I had offended her. I assured her of my love, and told her I would be praying.
Three Responses to Being Hurt by the Hurting
1. Let Love Cover
Can you move past it? Can you forget it and move on? If so, do! A test of whether or not you have truly forgiven and forgotten is how you feel towards your friend. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor he takes my measure anew every time he sees me, whilst all the rest go on with their old measurements, and expect them to fit me. George Bernard Shaw
Do it for Jesus! My husband did a favor for a member of my family. I thanked him and he winked saying "I didn't do it for them - I did it for you."
We don’t love others so they will appreciate us or reciprocate. In doing it for Jesus we release the hurting friend from the obligation to love us well in return.
3. Swallow the Hurt
Don’t pick this response – ever! It’s always the wrong answer. By not covering or confronting the sliver of hurt in your heart with grow. It will zap your joy and eventually hurts your relationship with others and with God.
Question: Why do you think confrontation is so hard?